Monday, August 17, 2009

The Party. (Also, the longest post ever but there are lots of pictures so it's not too boring).

Sabrina's first birthday party was this past weekend.

We really know how to throw a party. We have no clue how to throw a kid's party, but thankfully (again) this wasn't about her. It was about us. The adults. So it was an adult party.


My kind of party (the open space is for the cake. That's only 1/4 of the booze in the fridge). No, we did not get a keg. Why? They're heavy. Also? With cans and bottles you can have leftovers. It's okay to drink the leftovers from the party when they come in cans and bottles. It's frowned upon to get a beer from the keg on Wednesday after work. Another problem? What if you don't finish the keg before you have to return it to the store? How do you get the beer that's leftover? You don't. That's why kegs are bad.

Anyway.

Even though it was totally about the adults, I decided it would be great fun to make 60 sugar cookies in the shape of ladybugs, then frost them to look like little ladybugs! The result:

60 cookies that kind of look like ladybugs and kind of look like peace signs. They're peaceful ladybugs. We aren't quitting our day jobs, in case you were wondering.

I painstakingly made 60 cookies. Made the frosting. Frosted each cookie. Chris and I decorated with the black frosting. Then I put each cookie in it's own cellophane bag and tied it shut with a red ribbon.

And then? We fucking forgot to tell people to take the cookies.

We have about 55 ladybug cookies. Individually wrapped. We did this with our wedding favors, also. Which is why, four years later, we still have a couple cases of champagne flutes imprinted with "I went to Chris & Katie's wedding and all I got was this lousy champagne flute" sitting in our garage.

(Anyone interested in either the ladybug cookies or the champagne flutes should email me at smartassmama@gmail.com. Prices are negotiable.)

Have I mentioned we have zero shade in our backyard? Well, we have zero shade. Which makes for a very sweaty outside party. So I extensively researched our options to make our guests comfortable outside. I purchased large umbrellas. I rented umbrella stands. We spent an hour arguing discussing how to perfectly position each table and umbrella so that the shade was optimized. We came up with this:


And then? It was hotter than shit and people stayed inside with the air conditioning. So after all of our hard work, strategizing, and analyzing the layout...this is how it looked during the party:


Oh, well.

On to the most important thing. Sabrina's outfit.

Unfortunately, we were unable to get a good picture of it. Figures.

(Please ignore my larger than life arms and why? does it look like I'm wearing a sports bra or some binding device around my chest? I am also not pregnant, it's these damn empire waste dresses that are everywhere and seemingly "in style". I'm also horrified at what appears to be a Mom haircut, I was under the assumption that my 'do was somewhat stylish. Clearly I was wrong.)

So Sabrina was wearing a onesie with a graphic I made that said Sabrina's First Birthday or something to that effect and now we'll never remember or know for sure what it said because we didn't get a single picture of the onesie. You can kind of see it here:


Hey, lady! Move your hands!

Other than that she had her red tutu and her red Chucks. Which was super cute. Really, I swear. See?


She loved her outfit. Really. See?


On to the main event. The cake.


I would tell the story of why it looks like Sabrina's cake was stabbed down the side and why a couple of the ladybugs are lacking black spots, but I think if I did Chris would divorce me and take all of my money so let's just say it tasted good.

Sabrina didn't cry when 50 people sang Happy Birthday. In fact, she seemed to enjoy it a little too much. This picture is concerning. Her expression is somewhat smug, no? As if to say, "Of course it's all about ME." That's my line! No competition, girlfriend!


(Just for the record, I am burning that dress and immediately scheduling liposuction for my arms. Seriously, what the fuck?).

She was remarkably dainty and restrained while she ate her cake. The child can demolish a plate of cheese or veggies put in front of her, but she picked at the cake like it was on fire.

What? What?

Since she wasn't smashing her cake, as the name implies, we enlisted the help of the other kids who were more than happy to help destroy her cake.


Which, in hindsight, wasn't the best idea because she looks rather unhappy about it. Since she's my daughter, we all know she's thinking, "Hey, you little fuckers. Get your hands off my goddamn cake."


Not bad, but a little dry. Sure wish someone would hand me the freaking sippy cup. I'm parched!

All in all, it went well and was lots of fun. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to spend the next two days being nostalgic and mushy until her actually birthday on Wednesday.

14 comments:

Alison said...

HAPPY *almost* Birthday Sabrina!!! Of course, another post that made me LOL Katie!!

Michelle said...

Adorable!!!! She is so cute!!

And I too hate empire waist dresses/shirts but all of the cutest things are empire waisted. So I buy them, wear them and then wait for people to ask me if I am pregnant so I can snap back at them and make them feel uncomfortable. I think you look great and your arms are NOT big at all.
If I lived close, I would for sure go take those cookies off of your hands!

Lattes and Xanax said...

I'm in mourning...I can't believe I wasn't there to see the beauty in her CUTE outfit and love her up (and drink some beer, of course). I love you for knowing I needed my getaway, but I'm still sorry I didn't make it. Girlfriend's going to get something from us, though! And, I'll of course take a dozen or so cookies, you know how much I LOVE your treats! Tell Chris I can't wait to here the cake story :)

Bloglovers everywhere, smartassmom is beautiful and TINY!!!

Kelly said...

Love it! Looks like it was an amazing party!
And for the record, I think you should throw away that camera or beat the photographer...because you are tiny and fabulous!

minivan soapbox said...

Your fridge looks like ours for "kids" birthday's. I think for her 1st birthday we had one other kid...and that was only because OUR friends had a kid. And bottles really are the only way to go - Leftovers are a must.

Brakes and Gas said...

First off: you really need to move to the penninsula so we can hang out- my arms would make your arms feel so thin (which they are, BTW).

Second: Love the lady bug birthday theme! I was totally going to do this for Weezy's birthday but I did not want people to think I was copying Tori Spelling. Now I am not copying Tori, I am copying you, which I am so much more okay with!

Last: Where did you get the tuu-tuu? I must have one for myself (would it be more flattering than one of those empire waist thingys, which I TOTALLY cannot pull off?) and also for the Weez. If we are copying Sabrina's party we may as well copy her outfit too!

christi said...

I absolutely love her outfit - crazy cuteness.

Happy birthday, Sabrina!!

PS - You look fab. I swear.

The GVZ's said...

What a fabulous looking party. Love the fridge pics, I appreciate parents who know how to throw a kid's party.

Shannon said...

I seriously lol'd. You do not have huge arms and your haircut is far from a mommy haircut. The party looked like a good time and Sabrina looked fabulous. Love the red chucks. :)

Shari said...

I have giggled at your entire post. I want a flute and cookie. oh my.. what a great post.

Happy Birthday Sabrina!!

Aunt Becky said...

Happy Birthday, baby girl! I absolutely LOVE first birthday parties. LOVE THEM.

Jamers said...

Cute stuff! Cute kid! And you do not have huge arms. So there. I'm curious about the cake, but I'm thinking maybe I'd rather not know? ;o)

janessa said...

looks like a GREAT party! Love the tutu, love the smug looks, bummer that it was so hot but happy to hear there was plenty of beer for all :)

Erin said...

That was the best birthday commentary I've heard in a long time. It was a needed laugh.