Friday, November 20, 2009

Keywords

I'm a little fried this week and not feeling terribly inspired. It's been a while since I've even looked at my Google Analytics to get my laugh on over what people google that takes them to this site, and even longer said I shared some of these gems with y'all. Some highlights:

#4: mrs.wubbin - Now, if you don't know The Brakes and Gas blog (you should), you won't find this as amusing as me. Because "mrs.wubbin" is Gas' alter-ego. Well, that's not right. That insinuates a different persona. I'm totally not suggesting she's schizophrenic or anything. It's her other name. Handle, as some would say (who? I don't know. Shut up.). So I just found it very entertaining that mrs.wubbin was the 4th most popular search term that got people here. She's famous.

#6: preteen whores: I'm a little concerned about this one. Actually, I'm really concerned about the human race in general with most of what I find on my keyword list (each and every variation of ass and mom with lots of "big" and "fuck" thrown in there for extra measure) but I'm pretty sure the people that googled this weren't looking for a post about inappropriate Halloween costumes. I think they are looking for actual preteen whores. And, I am pretty sure they will end up on Dateline's to catch a freak predator or what not at some point.

#12: little preteen whores: So now they are specifying the type of preteen whore. No need to waste time sifting through the "big" preteen whores, or perhaps even the "medium" preteen whores. Inexplicably, "tiny" preteen whores didn't make the list which frankly surprised me, because everyone knows the tiny preteen whores are way cuter than the little ones.

#20 & 21: A good advice to my daughter & a list of good advise to doughter: I'm not trying to be mean here, but I'm going to say to these people that some good advice for your daughter would be to stay in school and pay particular attention to grammar and spelling because clearly, your parents did not.

#41: h1n1 infertility vaccine: Holy shit, there's an infertility vaccine? Odd that it's mixed in with the swine flu vaccine but whatEVER, we are saved!

#75: should moms show cleavage: Oh, for christ's sake. OF COURSE.

#98: tummy jiggles when I run: Keep running, kid.

#101: whores at the door: There's a very easy solution to this problem (if indeed it's a problem for you, it's not clear from this statement if this is something you'd like to start or stop). You know those signs that say "No Solicitors"? Just tack on a piece of paper that says, "and whores". That should take care of it. If they still continue to come to the door, when you open it just make a mean face and point to the sign.

#104: why did my child throw a tantrum because he didn't want to dress up for a school halloween party? : Um, I think you answered your own question. The tantrum was because he didn't want to dress up. That, and he is probably watching too much Calliou, because that kid is a total fucking brat.

4 comments:

Lindsy said...

Go Wubbin Go!

Michelle Z said...

I like that the word *whores* was in 3 of the top keyword searches. My kind of blog. =)

Brakes and Gas said...

Holy wow! I am so excited! I've always wanted to be famous... Does this mean that I don't have to pack my house now? I'll leave that to the little people.
PS: Just so you know, the feeling is mutual. I am totally girl-crushing on you too!

minivan soapbox said...

I don't ever get whores at MY door. I only get the Hispanic down the street who wants to trim my tree...EVERY FREAKIN' day. I would rather the whores.