Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Who's the biggest bully at storytime? ME. Don't forget it.

Being a working mom, it's rare that I get to partake in activities like story time at the library, or activities with other moms. For whatever reason, activities for parents and kids are extremely limited (if not completely non-existent) on the weekends so it's something working parents miss out on.

Which turns out, is probably a good thing in my case.

Sabrina's therapy has ended, but I'm still off one day a week through the end of this month. Wanting to squeeze every last bit of fun out of our few days left together, I took her to story time at our local library this week.

I was excited.

We got there a bit early and went to the kid's section of the library. There were a couple other kids there playing. One mom had her son with her, who was about Sabrina's age. She smiled at me, very friendly. Her son was adorable in his little cardigan with a bunny on the back. He and Sabrina mostly stared at each other, but I could tell a relationship was forming.

Two older kids were playing with some blocks in front of the couch. Sabrina wandered towards them, I grabbed her and re-directed her as I didn't want her to invade their space. I have some tact. She meandered to the other side of the couch, just opposite the kids. Sabrina looked at them and smiled. The little girl looked up and said to Sabrina, "Get OUTTA here!"

What.the.fuck.

She said that to my little girl! I KNOW! Unbelievable! Who could say that to this little face!

Sabrina hadn't done anything wrong.

So I looked at the little bitch and said, "That's not very nice." She just glared back at me.

For the remainder of the time we spent in this area, each time Sabrina walked towards the two kids I said, "Oh, honey. No, we don't go over there. Those are mean kids. MEAN. We don't like them." And I glared at the little bitch the entire time.

I often heard mom's talk about little assholes at the playground treating their kid poorly. Hitting, biting. Just being mean. So often, the mom would explain how they just left without saying anything to the kid or the parent. (Bitchy's mom wasn't in the area when all this was happening, and it's a good thing because when I figured out who she was later I saw that she was about 10 times my size). I wondered what I would do in those situations. My instinct said with my temperament, that I would say something. But you never know until you're put in those positions. Turns out I will not only say something, but continue to taunt the kid every available opportunity.

As we sat through story time, I found myself just staring at the little girl. She was easily 5 years old. This story time was for 0-3 year olds. I wanted to report her but the woman leading story time could clearly see her. Instead of enjoying our time, I sat there and thought mean things about bitchy. Things I thought but didn't vocalize:

  • You're too old for this class. You must be stupid.
  • You look poor.
  • I hate you.
  • You must be bitter because you have no friends.
  • I hope you never have friends.
  • Those light up shoes are so 2001.
  • You're lame.
  • When was the last time you washed your hair?
  • I'll bet you smell.
I know I won't always be around to defend my daughter, and I hope that she grows up to stand up for herself when little bitches treat her like that. But for the here and now, she's one. It's my job. I'll totally cut a bitch if you fuck with my family. Even the little bitches.

8 comments:

Michelle Z said...

By far the funniest entry. EVER.

And fwiw... I bet she did smell.

=)

Red Lotus said...

lol I have totally been there! I do the same thing.

Brakes and Gas said...

I am laughing so hard right now. Eloise is laughing too. She thinks you're hysterical. Love it!

Jess said...

LMAO - Hilarious!!!!!

Talina said...

Ha, ha... I so share your sentiments! The day someone is nasty to my girl I am gonna loose my cool (she's only 5 months now).

Loving the blog, found you via blogher ads.

minivan soapbox said...

At least you didn't trip her....Or throw books at her. So, as long as it's in your head your doing fine. Chances are if you start telling little 5 year olds that they smell and nasty hair...People may look at you funny.....NOT that I disagree with you. Don't screw with my kid, yo!

Kelly said...

I admire your restraint!
Hilarious!

Missy said...

You are so Friggin' funny! Just wait until elementary school!