I know, it's getting old. Bear with me, it will all be over in about a week.
We're hosting Christmas. Actually, we are hosting two Christmases. I like to entertain. Actually, I really like to entertain. But I'm pretty sure I'd like it a whole lot more if I wasn't quite so....po'.
One thing I have focused on is the tablescape. I have spent countless seasons watching Sandra Lee sip her cocktail and talk about how easy her tablescapes were, and it was clear I could do the same. Maybe even better.
I envisioned a "White Christmas". White lights on the Christmas tree, white table cloth and napkins to go with my white and silver china, white lights sparkling all throughout the dining room, an unbelievable white and silver centerpiece that our guests would talk about for years to come.
As I set out to find the decorations for my incredible centerpiece, a la Sandra Lee, I was dismayed to learn an important point: Sandra must not shop at the Dollar Tree.
I was convinced I could throw together something stunning by selecting some trinkets here and there, using my creativity to design something original, something beautiful.
I was not only dismayed to learn Sandra clearly didn't shop at the Dollar Tree (why I would think she did is beyond me, they don't sell alcohol there), but I was also saddened to find I lack creativity. I can't put shit together. I need it put together for me, and then I need someone to come to my house and put it on my table.
Out of sheer desperation, I just grabbed things that went with my color scheme, which I quickly began to regret. What I ended up with? A couple rolls of white and silver ribbon, some candles, and....a few of these:
They had literally a ton of them, so they seemed like they anticipated they'd be high in demand, and I figured I should grab them while I could. Certainly I could put something together that would work. Not only work, but look fabulous.
No, I cannot. My table looks like it's wearing four party hats. Or dunce hats. Or "what they fuck are those?" hats.
The table is almost as hideous as the tree.
Really, it's shaping up to be an awesome holiday.