Monday, September 21, 2009

Defining "It"

The cold and flu season is already upon us, even though it's still hotter than shit where I live and I'm trying not to be bitter about that since it's something I simply can't control, but for crying out loud, tomorrow is the first day of Fall and there is no way I can wear my cute boots or sweaters (okay, so I don't have either cute boots or sweaters at this moment but I am totally planning on getting some) in 100 degree weather. Also, fall decorations look stupid when it is still really hot out. Pumpkins and sweating just don't go hand in hand.

Anyhow.

As is the same with every year, the colds and flus hit my workplace early. I attribute it to all the moms and dads that work here. Their kids start school, they get infected, parents bring said infection to the workplace. I'd really rather they'd stay home until I can get my flu shot, but so far no one is willing to use all of their accrued time off to make me happy.

Chris mentioned someone he knew was "sick". I said, "Yup, it's already going around my office."

Chris: "What is IT?"

That simple question made me stop. Because it's not so simple. Because how people define "IT" varies. And it varies A LOT if you're a boy.

My definition of IT was:

  • For the normal, average chick for whom life isn't extra special difficult just getting through the day, IT was: just a cold.
  • For the martyr chick for whom life IS extra special difficult and worth complaining about a lot, IT was: a bad cold that had her up all night and then the kids wouldn't sleep and oh my god, I got like 2 hours of sleep and I can't breathe through my nose...
  • For the dude in the office that got IT: IT was precursor to death. Absolutely no one has felt this bad, EVER. Never ever. Ever. Yes, he knows that normal chick had the same cold and didn't seem to find it that bad but his was different and way worse. Way worse than anyone could ever imagine.

There is a reason why men can't have babies.

8 comments:

minivan soapbox said...

I KNOW!!!!!!! Grrrrrrr.. However, we're still dealing with some severe allergies here...So, it's hard to tell if we're actually SICK or just allergic to trees and shit.

Anonymous said...

On behalf of all men...

Rude post

Love,
Chris

Brakes and Gas said...

Very true! Case in point: Last night Brakes and I each got splinters in the bottom of our feet (too hot for shoes and socks). After determining that the splinters were not extractable I had a beer and muscled through the pain. Brakes spent the whole night eyeing his splinter and seriously considered taking the day off work.

Red Lotus said...

OMG I was wondering if you died or some shit, you hadn't posted in weeks! Funny post. Definately true in this house.

Alison said...

What about "IT" from the mommy perspective: that thing that infects someone else (i.e. your kids) but ends up making YOU miss work, clean up vomit, suck out boogers, and stay up all night listening to the inhibited breathing of your baby over the monitor.

A said...

Love it! So true- for most men. My stepdad is the worst: he sneezes and thinks he's on his deathbed. My husband on the other hand denies being sick until it is so bad he has passed out! Silly boys.

Aunt Becky said...

Dave nearly DIED of a cold once. So he says.

Emeraldwednesday said...

So true. DH is pretty bad, but my father is worse. He calls me every time he gets sick and asks me to come over and shoot him. Geeez, dramatic much?