Top Ten

Today, I am 38 weeks pregnant. I had Sabrina at 38 weeks, 2 days. Last week at my appointment, I was 3cm dilated and about 80% effaced. With Sabrina, I was 1cm and 50% almost the entire pregnancy, until my water broke. And even then the midwife claimed I was only 2cm after being in very active labor for over and hour. So I fired her. But I digress.

So it seems I'm making progress, right? Also, way TMI but I'm now referring to the mucus plug as the gift that keeps giving....so right around the corner. Right? Not likely. For some reason Chris and I had the 16th in our head and here we are with zero signs of movement. I even took Sabrina on a 3 mile hike yesterday. I have done zero exercise since about midway through the pregnancy. It's just not fun to feel like you're going to piss your pants each time you take a step. Then my back was killing me so I got a pilates DVD that I did about 4 times. Because my back hurt.

I realize I'm far from overdue, I'm not even due yet. But physically, I'm done. Mentally is another story, but physically...let's get this show on the road.

The Top Ten Things I Will NOT Miss About Pregnancy

1. Back pain. Well, the whole back/front/side pain in general but the back pain has been the worst.
2. The moodiness/bitchiness/lack of patience/grumpiness. Not that I'm Suzie Sunshine when I'm not pregnant, but the whole split personality t behing is rather new.
3. Not being able to sleep on my stomach or my back.
4. Waddling
5. Pants falling down each time I bend over. Clothing without buttons or zippers or a waist of any kind.
6. Not being able to drink alcohol.
7. Not being able to run. Yes, I understand many pregnant women continue to run. I wasn't one of them.
8. Muscle cramps. WTF is this all about, by the way? I didn't have them with Sabrina, but with this one they are brutal. Even the front of my calf cramps during the night. And yes, I eat bananas and drink water.
9. Getting up to pee 3-7 times per night.
10. I can't think of anything else. Oh yeah, pregnancy brain and memory loss.

Top Ten Things I WILL Miss About Being Pregnant

1. Eating ice cream every night after dinner
2. Eating ice cream every night after dinner
3. Eating ice cream every night after dinner
4. Eating ice cream every night after dinner
5. Eating ice cream every night after dinner
6. Eating ice cream every night after dinner
7. Eating ice cream every night after dinner
8. Eating ice cream every night after dinner
9. Eating ice cream every night after dinner
10. Eating ice cream every night after dinner