The C-Word

Not that c-word.

Colic.

We finally accepted the fact that Travis has colic last week. Or is colicky. Whatever you want to call it, he cried. A lot. Not only was he inconsolable, but he was just generally a totally unhappy guy. If he was awake, he was either crying or frowning.

It's pretty much my worst nightmare when it comes to newborns.

I will say the last two days he's been better, we've even gotten a smile or two out of him (fleeting, but that's an improvement) and he's had a few periods of being awake with just a blank stare on his face which is tons better than a pissed off frown. I even had a moment to shake a rattle at him. Big improvement.

Because colic is about the most draining, frustrating experience with a baby. You try so many freaking things to make the crying stop. And not because you want them to stop for their sake, but because you NEED them to stop for your sake. It's very hard to bond with your baby if they are colicky and there are times when it is very hard to even like them.

For the record, yes, we shussshed. Yes, we swaddled. Yes, we rocked him. Yes, we bounced him. Yes, we took him on car rides. Yes, we took him on walks. Yes, we put him in the swing. Yes, white noise. Yes, hair dryer and vacuum. Yes, we tried the colic hold. Yes, we tried gripe water and Mylicon. Yes, we tried holding him constantly. Yes, we tried not holding him. Yes, we used the bouncer. Yes, we did infant massage. Yes, we sang to him. Yes, we had a dance party with loud music and tons of movement to try and calm him (incidentally, Sabrina thought this was the best.day.ever and now insists on a nightly dance party). I wouldn't call it colic if anything worked. Nothing worked. We were going insane. Really fucking insane.

He does have pretty severe acid reflux and once we got his meds on the right dose, the screaming and wailing stopped, but the crying did not.

But a funny thing happened once we just accepted it. There was nothing we could do to calm him or make him stop crying and we had to accept it. Suddenly it got a tiny bit easier to handle. Not that I didn't want to ram my head against the wall the minute his eyes popped open, he frowned and started crying...I did still want to do that. But I didn't feel the strong desire to open the front door, start running and never look back. That was an improvement.

And luckily for us, he's started to do a little better. He's still a major complainer. But he's feeling better enough to have a couple moments of calmness during the day and after the way he was behaving, we'll take it. We're hoping he's one of the colicky kids that starts to do better around the 8 week mark instead of the 3-4 monther. Because seriously, I'm still on maternity leave and we simply cannot afford the amount of beer it takes to calm our nerves after 24/7 of crying and misery.